Another Day on the Road with Menopause The Musical

Hello friends!  Fredena Williams here from Menopause The Musical!

We are now officially off and running on the Winter Tour of Menopause The Musical! We are over the first hump of “road fatigue”. The first stage is always the hardest - getting used to the never-ending game of “Musical Hotels” (but in our version of the game, there are always the same number of rooms) or the “Van Seat Shuffle“. Traveling with 7 people in a van can be an interesting study in human dynamics and social behavior. Switching seats until you find the one that best suits your body or your style of sitting. Finding that seatmate that is just the right fit for you for that stint of the journey. But at the end of a show night - when 7 becomes 9, well there’s a whole new way of arranging ourselves. In the cold climate, do you sit where your body is most comfortable or do you sit next to the person who has the most or least heat? We’ll see if there is further examination needed in a month or so.

As usual, our down time is the greatest! I am now convinced that the job requirements of a Company Manager state that one must be “unbeatable” at everything! Is there an activity at which Chad doesn’t excel? Well, I think we (my cast mates and I) must adopt the Victory in numbers theory if we are to beat him at all. Or perhaps search the web for his “Professional League” status. Apparently, he is a Pro in the following games: bowling, mini-golf, air hockey, AND darts. But we’ve got 5 months to strategize and come up with a plan of attack! It is all in good fun, though. It’s amazing how you learn to really live for moments like these on the road. It’s some of the simplest things that bring the greatest pleasure. I watched with absolute delight as several of my cast members wandered aimlessly up and down the aisles of the supermarket. Finding new things to try or just the joy of doing something that brings a sense of normality to our otherwise nomadic lives. Sharing books and discussing shows that we like, all of these things bring us together. We are often in a rush at the end of the night to get home to see the end of or re-airing our favorite Prime Time TV shows. It really IS the simplest things. Whether we act like kids or just hang out as adults, there is something freeing about it all. It’s the ability to do things without fear of judgment because there is a mutual understanding and respect from each of us for what each of us do.

Staying grounded as a touring company of actors is a something that it takes a special brand of people in our lives to understand. For some, it’s your spouse, or your children. It’s our parents, siblings, significant others and friends that help us maintain our inner harmonic balance while on the road. For me, it’s my Mom. She’s my “Thelma” and I’m her “Louise”. We talk several times a day. She keeps me abreast of the goings on at home, and I fill her in on life on the road. We kind of live vicariously through one another and share the things we can. We make plans to eat dinner together over the phone and talk about whatever tickles our fancy. One of my cast mates has breakfast with her family via Skype. Those moments become more and more precious the longer you are away. I’m often asked, “How do you like life on the road?” The answer is always the same. It’s either for you or not for you and it suits me just fine! But it’s the ones behind the scene that make it both easy and hard to be away. The unsung heroes in our lives. It’s our loved ones who understand that our “work” requires us to be away from them. They love us unconditionally and give us the freedom to go away to do what we love to do.

Our “work” is a wonderful blessing. There is a natural high that comes from just being onstage. I am truly living a dream. Living MY dream. I am seeing places that are the “gems” of their communities - the grand old theatres of what seems like yesteryear. I am overcome with gratitude for the opportunity to just be in some of these spaces. Then you read of their history and wonder how a place like this could have been so close to being torn down - the old Vaudeville houses and theatres that are so ornate that they can literally leave you lost for words (and that’s a feat for me). I’ve seen gorgeous chandeliers, gilded wood and plaster of the most intricate designs, and some of the most beautiful prosceniums that one can experience. Walking out on these stages is like walking back in time to experience history and yet, you are about to become a part of that same history. To know that I have traced the steps of some of the most legendary entertainers - Perry Como; Lawrence Welk; Louis Armstrong; Tony Bennett; Chico Marx; Doris Day; Duke Ellington; Cab Calloway; Donald O’Connor; Red Skelton; Laurel and Hardy; and so many others. Then to hear the audience respond and know that we have evoked the same laughter and entertainment as they! How can I not be filled with gratitude, respect, and admiration for the opportunity to do what I love in places that leave you with a feeling of reverence?

The show is going well. The more you do it, the tighter the show gets and the more you learn about the actors onstage, the more you find their rhythm. I look for moments in the show where I can connect with each person in my own way. Our audiences have been amazing. So many people who have seen the show before return to enjoy it again and bring new members to the “sisterhood”. They talk to us about their experiences and the lessons that they have learned from the show. This got me thinking this past week about the lessons that I have learned from the show. As a menopausal woman, what do I learn? My lesson thus far has been acceptance - acceptance of the things around me that I cannot change.

Many readers of PINK magazine are list makers. I am, too! It is a necessary tool to combat the occasional memory lapses that come with menopause. I make lists for everything. I carry clothing manifests so that I keep track of what I have with me.

So in the game of musical hotels, I never leave things behind. Now I have lists and back-up lists but already on this tour… my lists have failed me! How embarrassing! When leaving our very first hotel, I left behind a very valuable bag of jewelry. I was beside myself. I was a wreck! I hadn’t left anything behind in a hotel since jr. high school field trips. As I cried to my Mom about my jewelry and called myself stupid, she told me to accept (my new least favorite word) that mistakes happen and no plan is fool proof! [Insert moment of menopausal panic and severe mood swing here.] Wait, did Mom just call me a fool? Oh, (sigh of relief) it’s just an expression. But in this world and horrible economy, there are still hard working honest people who turn in the things they find. So, I am happy to report that all my jewelry is safe and sound and where it should be. But, I’m not happy to report that I now have a back-up to the back-up list. Ugh! This past week was one with which I always have a hard time dealing. Performing on the anniversary of the death of my father is somewhat bittersweet. It’s a yearly “rite of passage” that I take to accepting that he’s no longer here. I believe he can see me and is indeed proud that I am living my dream. And though I can’t help but think about the fact that he never saw me perform as an adult, I reminisce to when I was in kindergarden boogieing my way down the “Soul Train” line at the May Day Festivities. There he was standing at the top of the line bobbing his head and smiling as if to say “That‘s MY baby!”. I imagine that’s what he does when he sees me onstage and I give him a special wink. I am positive that “Acceptance” is a lesson that is consistently taught and re-taught. But I must admit that the biggest lesson came from my best friend of 25 years who called to tell me he was getting married this week. Amidst my initial panic and feelings of a friendship that is about to set sail for its final voyage [cue dramatic movie music here] came the sweetest response from him and the lesson of Menopause The Musical. "Fredena, this is not the end of anything. We can get through this together." WOW! That’s what our audiences learn in our show. Menopause isn’t something unique that only YOU experience with hot flashes, mood swings and a wacky libido. The other women at the show do, as well. You are not alone. Many women KNOW what havoc menopause can wreak. Just ask us. Or better yet take a look at us! As members of my new “Road Family” shared stories this week of their weddings and proposals, it was our lovely Earth Mother, Sandy, who shared a dressing room with me this week, chatted with me and helped me see the lesson in acceptance by sharing similar stories. Seriously though, first I had to get over hearing that two-word sentence I KNEW I would one day hear (“I’M ENGAGED”!) and settle with the reality of the statement. I could then…(gulp) accept that my post (self assigned, never denied but always appreciated) as his tutelary has come to an end. But our friendship has not. So, I will forge ahead with the same dauntlessness with which I view my own menopause. I can now smile and not cry as I happily look to the future with a “New Attitude” and welcome this new phase of friendship. Don’t forget to visit MenopauseTheMusical.com for our show schedule. 

 "For a long time the only time I felt beautiful, in the sense of being complete - as a woman, as a human being, was when I was singing." -Leontyne Price